Something happened recently that I find super hilarious, while also incredibly encouraging and hopeful. The other day, I was running around doing my crazy morning errands. The kids wanted sushi in their lunches so I ended up going to WholeFoods to grab some for them. We ended up getting Dunkin Donuts too, which I know sounds obnoxious together, but it made my kids giggle!
And that reminded me of something: by making other people happy, causing them to giggle, and helping them do things they thoroughly enjoy, it makes me happy. Through this pattern, I can create a wave of happiness.
Joining the Wave
That day I got my kids their sushi and Dunkin lunches, I told myself that before I went home and got my work day started, I was going to get myself some Starbucks as a treat. I got to the coffee shop, pulled up in the drive thru and ordered my drink. As I waited, I turned on the Christina Perri song, “Human” because recently it’s really been resonating with me.
I don’t know if anyone else can relate, but lately I’ve been in this place of feeling weary and exhausted. Like, how much more can I swallow? How much more can I do? As human beings, we’re either healing and expanding or we’re falling apart these days, and there really doesn’t seem to be a lot of differences in between.
So I started playing that song as I waited for my drink, really cranking it and letting myself sing it out. When I got up to the window, the cashier told me something amazing: the person in front of me had paid for my Starbucks.
I’m telling you, that person’s kindness in front of me in line made me giggle so much, just like I had made my kids giggle that morning by putting sushi in their lunches. It was such a good feeling and brought me so much delight that I decided something: I was going to cause a wave effect.
You know the types of waves that happen at a football game in the stadium seats? Someone decides to start it, and pretty soon everyone is like, “Yeah, let’s do this! Let’s create a big wave!”
That morning, I decided to join the wave. I was like, “Hey! I’m going to pay for the car behind me as well!” So I told the woman at the drive thru, “Tell whoever’s after me that someone paid for me, and I’m going to pay for them. Let’s keep this good thing going!”
Pay it Forward
I wanted to share this with everyone today because more of us need to hear how capable we are of spreading waves of good. We can spread waves of happiness, waves of kindness, and waves of making people giggle. Let’s pass this goodness around. We all need it like we need fresh air right now because the firehose of events just keeps coming at us in the world. And we all totally deserve to giggle, to laugh, and to enjoy life’s moments.
We have to understand that each and every one of us is connected. We are all connected and what lifts one of us up can help lift up the rest. We have to stop tearing each other down, shaming people for having different opinions, and spreading waves of cruelty. Let’s support people. Let’s build them up. Pay it forward.
I’ve just realized something: this past week or so has been FULL of examples in my life showing me how important it is to be in a place of acceptance when it comes to things you cannot control.
If you haven’t noticed, we suffer when we don’t actually accept the things arising in our lives. When we’re fighting against things outside our own control, we end up triggered and often miserable, unable to achieve the financial abundance or deep personal fulfillment we do desire.
This has been made so clear to me this past week that I want to share a bit more of what I mean…
Why Suffering Cycles Happen
I don’t care what topic we’re talking about: acceptance is an essential step to getting yourself out of suffering cycles and on your way to achieving the financial abundance and deep personal fulfillment of your dreams.
Say we’re talking about politics, the current economic status, the condition of your current relationship, the fact that maybe your job is still shut down, or that you can’t go into a restaurant like you used to. There are all kinds of things we have personal attachments to or opinions on, and while that’s perfectly fine, I want to challenge each and every one of you to take a step back. Consider how your attachments and opinions are affecting your life. Really examine if you’re getting triggered by all these opinions and attachments.
If you’re at all like most people now, you’re probably getting triggered left and right.
The Importance of Acceptance
There are some things you simply have to accept about your life if you want to end your suffering cycles. We have to accept that we now have a different president in the United States. We have to accept that we’re still in a pandemic. We have to accept that we’re probably going to be required to get a vaccination if we want to travel the way we used to.
None of this means we can’t still have opinions, attachments, or the ability to make smart choices. In fact, these things are perfectly possible! All I’m saying is that when we don’t accept the things arising in our lives, the things outside our own lives that we have no control over, we get majorly triggered.
When we emotionally trigger to not being able to dine-in at a restaurant or go back to our normal work lives, it’s a clear sign that something needs to shift within us. While that may sound like an oxymoron, the acceptance portion of life is huge. Without it, we get trapped in repetitive suffering cycles, triggering us over and over and over. And that triggering uses up the amount of energy you have to go grab your dreams.
Start Some Conversation
So what is it in your life that you’re having a hard time accepting? Is it all the pandemic regulations? Is it the economy? Is it related to your work or children’s schooling? Whatever it is, I’d like to challenge you to figure out how you can accept it as the way your life is now—because you can’t control anything outside of your own life, and trying will only keep you trapped in a suffering cycle.
This is really about loving yourself enough to have courage and start some conversations with yourself about acceptance. It’s time for you to step into your financial abundance and break the disempowering beliefs in your life.
Happy holidays, everyone! While I hope you’re excited for the holidays and that you’re able to wrap up this year with all the things you love, it’s important to know that we’re in the time of year where so many start creating spending hangovers for ourselves.
This time of year is often when we start making decisions we live to regret in January. Overspending for the holidays—while it might bring temporary happiness—is only keeping us trapped in a suffering cycle. If you’re hoping not to max out your credit cards this holiday and to avoid that spending hangover in January, here’s what you need to know:
Understand the Motivation Behind Your Spending
Spending hangovers happen for a much simpler reason than you may think. As we’re working through all the things we’re going through in life and all the things happening in the world around us, stuff is happening to us on an emotional level. This is true every year, but this year especially as we all work through 2020’s craziness—a pandemic, economic challenges, being told we’re not supposed to spend the holidays with our loved ones, etc. A lot of us feel like we’re being clamped down.
This is a lot like when you’re on a budget. You feel clamped down and might want to react like, “No, get me out of there! I want to spend whatever money I want to spend!” A lot of us react to this clamped-down feeling by spending whatever we want on the holidays, building up debt to bring temporary joy.
Understand that while this is a normal reaction, it’s keeping you in a debt cycle and sending you straight to a spending hangover in January.
Don’t Act it Out, Work it Out
As human beings, we either work things out or we act them out, and if we act things out then we do so in one of three ways: through our money, our health, or our relationships.
When we act out with our health, we may find ourselves getting sick way more often, even seriously. Acting out in our relationships leads to various types of unhealthy relationships or toxicity in what could have been a healthy relationship. When we act out with our money, we often overspend, create debt, or spend on things we don’t actually care that much about.
This holiday season especially, it’s really important for us to be mindful of ourselves, to dig deep and work out what’s going on inside before we keep spending. Anything we have going on inside us will come out as we spend this holiday season in our efforts to satisfy those unsettled emotions inside ourselves.
Pause the Credit Card Use
I would encourage all of you to avoid swiping your credit cards as much as possible this holiday season. Use cash instead, because we really don’t internalize our spending when we slide credit cards but we do when we see the cash leaving our wallets.
Just like I always talk about, you have to love yourself enough to not slide that credit card; love yourself enough not to lead yourself into a spending hangover in January, wondering how you can possibly pay off the bill you’ve built up over the holidays. You have to choose to be in a space where you can feel your emotions and work through what’s going on inside of you rather than to spend to bring temporary happiness. This way, you can get to the other side and stop repeating the debt and spending cycles.
Take Your Power Back
It’s really important for us to continue doing the most self loving and self caring things. Debt is just another instrument for how you can be controlled, and when we keep maxing our spending, that’s only providing short term happiness and not sustainable happiness. It’s so important that we take our power back; that we return to a place of our own control and empowerment so we can create exactly the kind of lives we want to create.
Let’s be honest: the season we’re living through right now in this pandemic is scary and stressful for all of us. The more I keep watching, the more I keep seeing so many of us hitting places where we’re experiencing strong, sometimes confusing emotions—about our money, our jobs, or our lives in general.
Everything is a bit up in the air still, leading us to face a lot of stress and fear. Believe it or not, that’s why I think it’s so important to keep talking about building our wealth from the inside out, and not the outside in, so we can insulate ourselves against the chaos of what happens in the world and leave our fear and stress far behind us.
This is what I mean…
How to Build Your Life From the Inside Out
I’m always talking about the fact that we need to build our wealth from the inside out and not the outside in, but what does this mean exactly?
First it means we need to take into account not only our financial lives, but also our work life, our personal life, and our family life, so we have a firm understanding of how to move forward. We need to step back and see the whole picture before we’re able to build a stable, sustainable life of real wealth.
Let’s use an example.
Start by Examining Your Life
Say you’re looking at the personal side of your life. To do this properly, you must consider your personal dreams and desires, but you must also take into account the physical side of your life because we are, as humans, physical beings.
So how do you get the physical side of your life in alignment with your personal desires? One of the ways to create the space in your life needed to allow real wealth to rise up to the surface is by doing what they’re talking a lot about in Japan today: Forest Bathing.
Yes, forest bathing, otherwise known as, “Going for a walk in the forest!”
Make Space for Calmness
What this reminded me of was when I was taking a walk along the lakefront recently, thinking about how we can’t really find balance in our physical selves unless we also connect with nature. That’s when lightbulbs started going off. I started thinking to myself, “Wow, Jul, you lose your patience because of the fact that your cortisol levels are high, because you’re stressed, because you’re not taking the time to calm down.”
This is all tied to why we meditate, why we do yoga, why we exercise, or why we walk in nature. All of these things are available and enjoyable to us because they calm our systems down in the high-paced, stressful society we’re in, allowing us to get back in tune with our hearts, nature, and the harmonic lifestyle that provides a space for living in the present moment. It opens the way to realising and releasing more of our pasts, and creating more of the future we truly desire.
None of this is possible, however, if we don’t take the time or allow the space for slowing down and listening to what our heart, body, and soul need.
Leave the Fear and Stress Behind You
2020 has been a challenging year for most of us, but it has also provided so many opportunities for growth and discovery. If you’re hoping to grow into your life of real wealth and leave all the stress and fear behind, then I would encourage you to take some time to yourself to purposefully delve deep into all the aspects of your life: personal, financial, familial, etc. Ask yourself how you can stay centered, calm, and true to your inward self in all of these areas.
Find your nearest forest walk and consider doing some forest bathing. While lots of places may be closed these days, and many others aren’t open at full capacity, nature is wide open. Your life is wide open. It’s time we all started living from the inside out.
As many of you know, my passion is to bring all tools and resources you need to help you awaken your wealth. I’ve put together a toolbox, I go live regularly on my Facebook, and I’m continually referring to other experts and resources for you to truly awaken every aspect of your wealth. Because real wealth is about more than just money.
It’s so important to understand that money can only be the result of everything else happening in your life. Right now, many of us are going through a season of overwhelm, which is why I think it’s hugely important to share that my dear friend, Christine Arylo, has just come out with her new book: Overwhelmed & Over It.
So get ready to get over your overwhelm because it’s time for us to finally start living from our heart’s space.
Why We’re Overwhelmed
Most of us can easily say that we’re feeling overwhelmed in our lives today, but instead of melting into what Christine calls the “super person sob moment,” we ought to take a stand. Just like the subtitle of Christine’s book says, let’s embrace your power to stay centered and sustained in this chaotic world.
And we truly have so much chaos going on these days. With a pandemic, an economic crisis, a stressful election, and so much else, it’s understandable to feel burned out. If you feel as though you’re overwhelmed, overstretched, or simply sacrificing yourself in far too many ways, know that it’s not your fault. There are layers and layers that have been building up in your life, in society, and in the world for the last decades, setting all of us up for this overwhelm.
Many of us have been chasing and chasing, sacrificing our time, and filling our schedules trying to keep up with the expectations of our lives rather than following what our hearts want. In the words of Christine, “We’ve become so resilient that we’ve become tolerant.” We’ve become tolerant of overwhelm, stress, and the exhausting chase to fill our time with what society tells us to fill it with.
It’s time for a breakthrough.
How to Break Through
The things that we’ve learned to tolerate in our lives–a job we don’t like, a relationship that is unfulfilling, a house with a mortgage that’s weighing us down, and so much else–aren’t things we actually want to tolerate. And yet we’ve become tolerant of it all regardless because this is how we’ve been taught to be.
The issue on top of all this is that we often don’t see any other way to be since we’re so very busy. We’ve been too busy with our packed schedules, crippling bills, and forced expectations to take a second to look around and ask ourselves, “Why am I working this way? Why is this the schedule for my kid’s school? Why am I stuck in this overwhelming routine that I don’t like?”
To solve this overwhelming cycle, we need to get to the root of what’s actually going on. We need to get to the heart of the issue. Rather than constantly looking outwards to fill our time, bank accounts, and ego, we need to turn inwards and examine our hearts. I always talk about the fact that we live in a hologram: whatever is actually going on inside ourselves is why the outside shows up the way it is. So if you want your external world to change, you’ve got to go to the inside and change it first.
Overwhelmed and Over It
I believe that Overwhelmed and Over it is exactly what so many women in the world actually need today. We need support, something that confirms what we’re going through, and someone to help unpack all the things in our brains and help meet our breakthrough. We need this breakthrough, this crack in our armor, to allow all of the genuine things inside us to blossom and become what we are meant to be. I hope you’ll find that Christine’s book serves as this support, and I would encourage you to give it a read.