Whenever I happen to catch a nature program on TV, it always strikes me how the animals that are the most successful in their natural habitats are the ones that are the best at adapting – oftentimes at a moment’s notice – and it’s a brilliant reminder that the same is true for humans. I see, time and time again – through my own experiences as well as those of my children and coaching clients – that the more adaptable we can be, the better we’re able to navigate through whatever challenges might come our way. The messages are all around us on a regular basis encouraging us to: “expand,” “get in the flow of life,” “detach from outcomes” – all just slightly more “woo-woo,” esoteric ways of asking us to be more adaptable to our current situations, so that we can feel more success and joy in life.
So much of our ability to adapt and go with the flow, however, depends on letting go of all the should’s in our lives: “I should be farther along in my career by now,” “I should have more money in the bank,” “I shouldn’t be in debt ” This type of self-talk just ends up keeping us stuck, not to mention, down in the dumps. If the shoulds are bogging you down – well it’s time to kick ‘em to the curb!
It All Begins With Acceptance
When it comes to lifting our blocks to money, and creating a richer, fuller life in general, the ability to let go of expectation, and accept the reality of a situation, warts and all, is key in developing our adaptability quotient. Interestingly enough, this point is driven home every time my kids and I read one of their favorite storybooks, You Get What You Get by Julie Gassman. The best line in the whole story, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit!” is something we love saying together. It’s like a family mantra. This darling story has driven home the importance of being adaptable for my kids and for me, and we can all take a page from this book when it comes to accepting the way things are – even if the situation is not to our liking or what we expect.
Bend With the Wind
When it comes down to it, it’s all about how we deal with change which, there’s no doubt, can be challenging. I like to think of adaptability and accepting change as a kind of dance. We can fight the change – which can cause us to trip and fall – or we can glide in one direction and then twirl in another. As the classic Tanzanian proverb says, “The wind does not break the tree that bends.” The more we can “go with the flow” – gracefully responding to the variable winds as they blow through our lives – the more we can maintain a healthy body, mind and spirit.
A great “accepting what is” tool to help you go with the flow is “the 17 second” method. Studies have found that it takes 17 seconds to shift our emotions from negative to positive. So now, when my kids are in a frustrating situation, I ask them to pause for 17 seconds to take a few breaths and just observe their feelings before reacting. I encourage you to try it as well if you feel like your cage is being rattled. Hitting the 17-second pause button does wonders to bring you back to your center and adapt to a situation.
Keep in mind, accepting the reality of a situation doesn’t mean staying in it if it’s unhealthy. What it does mean is that you’re no longer in denial about where you stand in life, and that acknowledgment frees you up to align with next, more positive steps forward.
Listen To Your Own “GPS”
A way to spark that forward momentum is by taking the “17-second” method a step farther to conduct an emotional inventory. It’s amazing the degree to which so many of us are out of touch with our emotions – numb to the fact we’re suffering and paddling against the currents of our lives – simply to avoid change. By getting in touch with your emotions, you connect up with your gut…your “internal GPS” that can guide you out of a stuck place, and ultimately to positive change. Your GPS may be telling you it’s time to take steps towards a change in career or relationship, or make changes in a myriad other ways. The important thing is to listen to and honor your emotions.
Follow Your Inner Road Map
In partnership with your inner GPS, you can start creating a list of intentions in order to take action and move forward on your path. I encourage you to start brainstorming steps you can take – adding only the ones that truly feel good to your intentions list. Creating your intentions based on what feels good and what you truly want will help you feel more aligned with a new, more authentic direction.
Have Courage
As creatures of habit, we don’t love making changes. It’s amazing how much we’re willing to live in painful situations in order to avoid facing them. It may sound cliché, but it really comes down to loving yourself… loving yourself enough to take risks towards something better, and having the courage to allow yourself to adapt to the new life those changes may bring. Some changes will be easy and some will be difficult, but they will be authentic to you and the life God/ The Universe intended for you.
There’s no denying that change can be scary and, at times, painful, however, the more we can have the courage to swim with the changing currents – setting our intentions and adapting to any given circumstances that come up along the road toward our goals – the more resilient and successful we can be!