Crab Empathy

Julie Murphy • March 3, 2010

Over time I’ve come to realize that when you alter your course in life, many people who are closest to you feel vulnerable and uneasy. It’s a reality of life; when people decide to change, those around them often don’t like it. They’ll unconsciously try to get you back to your old behavior. This is because when you start down another path, and others sense you’re moving on, they feel threatened. It forces them to look at their own lives, and they may not be ready to do so. I’ve always said that people come and go in our lives for reasons. Some are meant to stay and others are not. Its human nature for those feeling left behind to badmouth or ridicule you, rather than wish you well. Those buddies who’ve taken up residence at the bar, health club, salon or the neighbor’s kitchen are not bad people. They’re just functioning on a different frequency from the new you. It’s not your place to judge them; but do recognize that they’re on a different path. If you want to explore new territory, you’re going to have to wish them well on their journey, even if it doesn’t include you. I used to let my crabs get the best of me. Their behavior triggered tremendous feelings of intolerance and impatience, which was irritating to me. I soon realized that I didn’t need to develop more tolerance or patience for them. I needed to focus on my goals and dreams and move on. Which I did!

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