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How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change

Julie Murphy • Apr 25, 2022

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Life certainly comes with its challenges and when you know that something needs to change, it isn’t always easy to take full action on that. Sometimes we might even desperately want change - whether that’s reaching a breaking point in our jobs, in a relationship or with our health. However, when it comes to actually taking action on what we want to create or do differently, on a subconscious level, there can be an overwhelming resistance to change. 


If you’re in this spot or simply ready to make a change in your life, in this article today, I’m going to talk about how to overcome your resistance to change and the small steps you can begin to take. 


Accept the reality of where you are


Many self help articles and books miss this very important piece as creating change isn’t just about taking practical action. Resistance to change often comes from a lack of acceptance of where you are right now. Perhaps you’ve found yourself with debt, in a relationship that is destructive or unsatisfying on some level or in what externally is considered to be a fantastic job, but one that you actually dread going to every day. 


Whatever your situation, to be able to create the change you desire and overcome your resistance to change, you have to be willing to accept where you are right now. Not bury your head in the sand about your debt or keep telling yourself that maybe your relationship will improve in time, or that if you give yourself one more year in that job, you might feel differently. You have to be willing to acknowledge all the emotions and feelings that come up when you accept the reality of your situation right now. I have a YouTube video on this specific topic that I highly recommend you check out. 


Once you can feel those feelings and feel through them, this is when you’re opening up the energetic pathways to allow change in. After all, how can you change a part of your life when you’re unable to accept what’s happening right now? This is the major key and usually the biggest barrier when it comes to overcoming resistance to change. 


Create clarity on what your heart desires


A further common struggle many of us deal with is not actually knowing what steps to take to create change. This is where it’s time to truly drop into your heart and connect and what the self help world often misses! Change isn’t just about motivation because motivation is fleeting. When you’re making changes based on what you - in your heart and in your full authenticity desire, motivation or ‘pushing’ doesn’t really need to come into the equation. This is because every action you take is consciously aligned with moving towards that desire and enjoying the feeling of empowerment that comes along with it. 


A fantastic way to get clear on those desires and to make long-term change is through visualization. This can also be great fun because you really get to play and explore! I’d like you to take some time to breathe, to connect to your heart and visualize what you want to create. Don’t hold back! 


What change do you want to make? What would you be doing every day if that change manifested? Where would you be living? How would you be feeling in your body and what kind of people would you be surrounded by? What would your family life be like? How would your relationship feel? What career or business would you have? Visualizing your goals and what success looks like when only filtered through your heart, is an incredible way to get to the core of what you really want in life. When you feel yourself slipping back into old habits, you can turn back to the visualization and identify what practical or energetic actions that highest version of yourself would be taking. It can serve as a compass that you can use to ground and anchor you to your core ‘why’ for change.


Live life on your own terms


To overcome your resistance to change also means being willing to stop living your life to keep others happy or to satisfy their expectations. If you’re making a change that isn’t truly aligned to what your heart desires, then you won’t be bringing yourself along on the way. If it’s to keep others happy, whether that’s your partner, your boss, your parents or society at large, you’re putting others in the driving seat of your life. To create lasting change it has to come solely through you. This doesn’t mean being selfish or not considering the opinions of those that matter to you. It’s about accepting their perspectives with grace but primarily putting that trust in yourself. 


Create a safe container to facilitate change 


Resistance to change also comes from fear and from what I see with many clients, typically a financial fear. If you’re in this spot, to overcome your resistance to change it means creating a safe financial container in which to make it happen. It’s so important to ensure that along the way you’re addressing your financial past, financial present and financial future. After all, this isn’t about making change from a place of being reactive. It’s about working towards creating financial flexibility and funding your intentions so that making changes feels safe and something you can fully get behind without fear. 


When you do this, the practical actions seem less daunting. When you know you’re consciously working towards becoming your own bank and setting up your finances in accordance with this goal, the thought of leaving your job to start a completely new career doesn’t seem quite so daunting or as out of the question as it might have initially appeared! 


And then of course, you’re free to take those small, consistent steps every day. Creating a life that you love doesn’t have to mean making huge, daunting steps either. It’s like building a muscle and it’s those small changes, consciously made every day in alignment with your dream or goal, that create the biggest impact and where the law of attraction starts to work in miraculous ways!

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