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I Grew Up Believing Money Had to Be Hard…Then I Learned This…

Julie Murphy • February 28, 2025
A coin is sitting on top of a pile of rocks.

For years, I did all the "right" things. I climbed the career ladder, saved my pennies, and even made friends with a few financial planners. I thought I was adulting at an elite level. But despite all my best efforts, my bank account still had commitment issues…money would show up, wave hello, and then vanish like it had better places to be.


I tried everything. Budgeting apps, color-coded spreadsheets, even manifesting abundance by sticking affirmations on my bathroom mirror. (Spoiler alert: the universe still made me pay my bills.) And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was never going to be enough.


Sound familiar? You’re not alone.


I see this all the time in our workshops. So many of us grew up believing that money has to be hard…that financial freedom is for other people, the ones who have it all figured out. But here’s the thing: that’s just not true. And I want to share my story with you because these emotional patterns around money don’t just affect our finances…they shape our entire lives. It’s also why I wrote The Emotions Behind Money   book and created my upcoming three-part workshop series to help you shift your relationship with money from stress to empowerment.


I get it. I’ve been there.


For years, I felt like my wallet had a secret escape hatch…money would slip through before I even had a chance to enjoy it. No matter how much I earned, it seemed to disappear faster than a plate of fries at a family gathering. I was constantly giving, constantly providing, making sure everyone else was taken care of first. Because somewhere deep down, I believed that if I wasn’t the responsible one, the generous one, the fixer…I wouldn’t be loved.


Of course, I had no idea at the time that I was simply replaying my childhood financial patterns on repeat, like a song stuck on an old cassette tape.

Growing up as the second oldest of twelve kids in a working-class Irish Catholic family, money was practically an endangered species. It was borrowed, stretched, and often spent before it even had a chance to settle in the bank account. Birthday cards? Oh, those weren’t just for celebrating another year…they doubled as emergency bill payments. (Thanks, Grandma!)

So, I learned early on that money wasn’t something you had…it was something you worried about.


And that belief followed me well into adulthood. Even when I built a successful career, even when I started making more money than I ever thought possible, I still felt like I was constantly one step away from financial doom. Because that’s what I had been taught: Money wasn’t just dollars and cents…it was a reflection of my worth, my role, and my responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate?


Maybe you grew up hearing “money doesn’t grow on trees” or that you have to “work hard to earn a good living.” Maybe you were told that wanting financial abundance meant you were selfish. Or maybe you just never saw a model of what true financial freedom actually looked like.


But here’s what I’ve learned: Financial freedom isn’t about how much money you have. It’s about the relationship you have with it.


Your Emotions Created Your Financial Reality


For years, I had no idea that my financial stress had nothing to do with money itself…it had everything to do with the emotions I had attached to it.

I gave money away because I thought taking care of others made me valuable.


I avoided looking at my bank statements because I didn’t want to feel the shame of overspending.


I kept myself stuck in survival mode because that was all I had ever known.

But once I started digging deep…once I started looking at the emotions behind my money habits…everything changed.


I saw how my upbringing had shaped the way I viewed money.


I realized that my worth wasn’t tied to how much I could provide for others.

And I finally gave myself permission to prioritize my own financial well-being.

This is what I help people do every day: unravel the emotional stories that keep them stuck and rewrite their financial reality.


And that’s exactly what we’ll focus on in Workshop 1 of my three-part series. We’ll uncover the hidden emotional patterns that shape your financial habits and explore the deep-seated beliefs that might be keeping you stuck. Because until you shift your inner world, no financial strategy will ever truly stick. Save your sport here.


The Emotional Shift That Will Change Your Financial Reality


Let’s be real…money isn’t just about paying bills or building a solid retirement plan. It’s about how you feel when you tap your card for that latte, check your bank balance (while holding your breath), or imagine your future financial self…hopefully sipping margaritas on a beach somewhere.


And if money makes you feel like you’re starring in a never-ending horror movie…cue the ominous music when the bills arrive…no budgeting hack or side hustle is going to magically make it better.


For years, I thought if I could just earn more, everything would fall into place. Spoiler alert: It didn’t. I kept giving it away, making guilt-ridden financial decisions, and repeating the same patterns I had watched my parents navigate.


I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was using money as a security blanket for my deeper emotions…fear, insecurity, and the constant need to feel needed. Until I faced those emotions head-on, no financial strategy could truly save me.


So, I did something radical: I stopped running from the discomfort and actually paid attention to my money habits (without wine... most of the time).

That’s when I saw my real fears…the fear of not being enough, the fear of letting people down, the fear that if I stopped giving, I wouldn’t be loved. And the moment I faced those emotions? My entire financial life started shifting.


This inner work is just as important as any financial plan….and it’s exactly what we’ll be diving into in Workshop 2. Together, we’ll uncover the emotional patterns that are keeping you stuck and learn how to shift from self-sabotage to self-empowerment. And trust me, the financial glow-up that follows? Worth it. Save your sport here.


The Key Is to Be ALL of You


But healing your relationship with money isn’t just about breaking bad habits…it’s about fully stepping into who you are.


For most of my life, I played a role…the responsible one, the giver, the one who made sure everything was okay. And for a long time, I thought that was just who I was.


But the truth is, I was hiding parts of myself to fit that role.


I was afraid to fully step into my power. I was afraid to admit that I wanted more… more money, more freedom, more abundance… because I had been taught that wanting those things was selfish.


But here’s what I’ve learned: when you align with your true self, financial abundance flows naturally.


When I finally let go of the beliefs that weren’t serving me…when I stopped holding myself back out of fear…that’s when everything changed.

And it can change for you too.


That’s what we’ll dive into in Workshop 3,  how to break free from limiting beliefs, step fully into your power, and create a financial life that aligns with the real you. No more hiding. No more guilt. Just you, living in full alignment and true abundance. Save your sport here.


You Deserve to Feel at Peace with Money


If any of this resonates with you, let me tell you something important: You’re not the only one who’s ever felt this way, and you certainly don’t have to figure it out alone.


Money is emotional. It’s messy. It makes us feel things….sometimes great, sometimes like we need a nap and a snack just to deal with it. And if you feel stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed, I want you to know it’s not because you’re bad with money… it’s because no one ever handed you a manual on how to heal your relationship with it. (Seriously, where was that class in school?)

But good news: we’re about to change that.


Because you, my friend, are about to break free from all that financial baggage and step into a whole new way of thinking about money…one that’s lighter, more empowered, and dare I say, even fun. (Yes, fun. Money and fun CAN go together, I promise.)


And we’re going to do it together.


✨ Imagine a life where money doesn’t feel heavy—where it finally feels easy….


📅  Reserve Your Spot for the Workshop Series Now!


Your past doesn’t define your financial future. Let’s create something new…together.


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