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No Longer a Victim
Julie Murphy • Aug 03, 2021
Ever felt victimized by life’s tough breaks? I know I have. Seeing the successes other people are racking up while you continue to struggle with things that, theoretically, should be simple by now? It’s a bad feeling.
Unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do about unforeseen circumstances. Getting a flat tire on the way to the most important meeting or interview of your life. A medical problem blindsides you – and your bank account. You were picked over for the promotion that had your name written all over it.
Life can definitely throw you a curve ball and sometimes you don’t have nearly enough time to duck.
But you know what we can control? Our outlook. Not just our feelings on that one specific moment, but how we handle the stressors and setbacks. The first thing you need to come to terms with is this:
You are in control of your life: your journey, your emotions and your destiny.
The amount of power and say we have over anything or anyone else but ourselves is marginal at best. But us? Our outlook? Our opinions? How we handle conflict? That’s all our responsibility.
So if you’re wondering when you’ll get your chance at happiness and success, guess what – it’s here. Right now. You can decide to be happy and successful immediately. Today. At this very moment. What does that look like? It could be anything. Maybe it’s spending half an hour working on your hobby, cooking your favorite meal, spending time with your kids or just getting a massage to take care of you.
Action step
Despite what society will tell you, success doesn’t have a hard-and-fast definition. There isn’t a dollar amount, job title or address that will let you know that you’ve “made it.” That’s entirely up to you to decide, and it doesn’t have to take you 20 years and an early tropical retirement to get there. It’s time to determine exactly what it looks like for you.
But before you can choose to be successful or happy, you have to let go of a few things. First, the triggers. Anything that puts you back in a negative, counterproductive mindset must go. Next is any negative self talk you delve into when things are going wrong. That has no room in your life, especially the successful and happy one you are building right now.
Finally, you must let go of being the victim. Your setbacks do not define you. Your weaknesses do not have to bring you down. And you are most certainly not the victim of your circumstance. The difference between those people getting all of the luck and opportunity and you is that they have taken responsibility for their happiness. They do not allow feelings of being victimized by their surroundings to stop them in their tracks. The know they deserve happiness and success, and they don’t wait for others to give them permission for it.
Realizing that you are capable of exactly what it is that you desire in life – even if it’s something as intangible as success and happiness – is what will turn your current life into your dream life. Go ahead. Give yourself permission. And be the most authentic, happy and successful person you know you are destined to be.
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Sometimes, we may feel awkward or uncertain about developing meaningful connections. However, by learning the tools and techniques to establish and nurture strong relationships, we can enhance our overall satisfaction and emotional well-being. 5. Self-reflection and Self-awareness: Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth and fulfillment. Through self-reflection exercises, we can uncover what is truly holding us back. It is only by gaining self-awareness of our beliefs, desires, patterns, coping mechanisms, and approaches to relationships that we can discover our true selves and what we genuinely want in life. 6. Discovering Passions and Purpose: Immersing ourselves solely in our careers and financial pursuits may leave little room for our passions and life purpose. To discover our passions and purpose, we must explore activities that ignite our creativity, joy, and sense of fulfillment outside of work. 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Control is an illusion. We can plan and strategize, but ultimately, life has its own agenda. Clinging too tightly to control only creates resistance and blocks the flow of abundance.