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The blame game: who is really at fault?

Julie Murphy • January 8, 2013

For even the most secure individual, it can sometimes be challenging to admit being wrong. And that is never more apparent when we realize the decisions we’ve made, in retrospect, weren’t the best for us. We feel shame for being so ignorant to our true needs and embarrassed that we didn’t figure that out sooner.

Those types of feelings we have about life’s peaks and valleys are completely normal, and they act as a guidebook on our journey of the things we truly need in our lives. Yet instead of accepting those moments as learning experiences, we take on a negative view and write them off as failures. We develop a chip on our shoulders, and we stumble on these supposed roadblocks. Then, in our lowest moment, we place blame.

We point at our parents for not being supportive enough. Our friends for not believing in our ideas. Our bosses for not giving us that raise we deserve. Our spouses for not understanding our vision. We spend so much time blaming other people for mishaps in our own lives that we essentially give our power of choice away.

It’s much easier to blame someone else for what’s wrong in your life than to stop, take a hard look in the mirror and accept your responsibility. The part you play in your own life is more important than the one that any other person plays. Remember – what happens in your life is, to a great degree, what you allowed to transpire.

You can place blame all you want, but you are avoiding the real issue: you’ve lost control and you need help. It’s time to take responsibility for what goes on in your world. Those bad habits you picked up along the way aren’t anything that anyone gave to you; they are things you actively participated in.

Action step

The good news here is that as easy as it was to place blame, it’s just as easy to choose to do something different. The power of choice is undeniably robust. Choosing to take responsibility for your own life is one of the most empowering decisions you will every make. It will change your life in ways you didn’t think were possible, and you’ll be able to accomplish more than you imagined.

If you truly want control over your life, it’s time to take responsibility of your actions. Spend time these next few weeks rewiring your thinking. Every time you feel like blaming someone else for something happening in your life, stop. Tell yourself that what happened is a result of your actions, and that you can change those actions whenever you are ready.

Take back the control in your life by refusing to place blame. Redirect your energy from the negative to the positive by encouraging yourself to make healthier choices. And allow the things you love to flow freely by taking responsibility over of your life.

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