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Top 5 ways we as women sabotage our relationship with money
Julie Murphy • Jan 11, 2011
I’ve come to believe that most unhealthy financial behaviors result from emotional conflict or unrest within the individual. Now is the perfect time to understand how you might be sabotaging your relationship with money. Knowing why you’re spending will help you get in touch with your heart’s desires. And it’ll create a vibration of harmony and abundance in your life.
First, let’s look at a few reasons we sabotage one of our most important relationships in life.
• We put other’s needs before our own
How many times have we bought something our husband or kids didn’t need, “just because”?
• We spend on what we think we need
It’s easy to get caught up in the “keeping up with the Jones’” mentality, so we rationalize those expensive briefcases or luxury cars as fitting in with our circles.
• We’ve convinced ourselves it’s a treat
We work hard, so we deserve that high-end handbag. But when it comes at the expense of what what’s really in our hearts, how much of a ‘treat’ is it really?
• We listen to what the “crabs” say
We want the ones closest to us to accept what we want, and we’re devastated when they don’t.
• And one of the biggest ways we sabotage our money situation is to ignore our dreams and desires for the sake of taking care of the “necessities.”
So many of us are just going through the motions in our lives, pushing down our true passions in lieu of what we think life should be. But there’s no better time than now to take the leap.
Here’s an exercise: Sit quietly and listen to your own heartbeat. Ask yourself, “What do I need? What do I want?” Maybe you want more time alone or need a creative outlet or more physical activity. Maybe you need to end a relationship that’s making you miserable or move overseas.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. So don’t judge your needs and desires; they have merit and deserve to be taken seriously. Let them flow out onto a piece of paper, and look over what you wrote.
Now choose one of the items on your list and describe some specific, practical ways you might begin to meet it. Do you need fifteen minutes alone each day when you get home from work? Do you need to open a “Europe” savings account and put ten dollars into it each month? What’s the first step, and when can you get it done?
Acknowledge how powerful it feels to funnel your energy toward your own needs and desires. Make a pledge to take at least a few minutes each day to accept who you really are and think of concrete ways to honor the authentic you. Feel the harmonious vibration from one simple act hum through every aspect of your life!
The post Top 5 ways we as women sabotage our relationship with money appeared first on Julie Murphy.
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In my book, " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " I explain that wealth isn’t just about managing money—it's about aligning with the deeper, spiritual principles that guide our financial lives. These four laws offer a powerful framework to create lasting abundance, but they aren’t a one-time fix. Instead, they are tools to be revisited and reapplied throughout your journey. Reapplying the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money for Continuous Growth We all know the feeling—just when you think you've got your finances in order, something shifts, and it feels like you're back at square one. Maybe an unexpected expense pops up, or perhaps your goals change as your life evolves. Whatever the reason, financial growth is not a “set it and forget it” journey. It requires ongoing effort, reflection, and adjustment. This is where the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money come in. 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As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
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These laws aren’t just one-time lessons; they are a powerful framework that you can revisit and reapply whenever life (or your bank account) needs a tune-up. Let’s dive into how each law can be reworked into your daily life, helping you to stay on the path of financial abundance. 1. Manifestation Begins with Desire You’ve likely heard it before— knowing what you truly want is the first step to creating it. But here’s the thing: what you want today might be different from what you desired a few years ago. Life changes, and so do your dreams. Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you really desire now? Is it financial freedom, a vacation home, or maybe the ability to give back to your community in a bigger way? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to dream big. Let your desires guide you as they evolve. Reaffirming your desires regularly ensures that you're always manifesting what aligns with the current version of you. 2. 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As life moves forward, it’s easy to let distractions pull your energy in too many directions. That’s why it’s crucial to regularly revisit your intentions. Are they still aligned with where you want to go? Take time to refocus. This might mean creating new financial goals or reaffirming old ones. By re-centering your intentions, you’re not only redirecting your energy—you’re also inviting the universe to step in and help you make those goals a reality. 4. The Universe Responds to Action We’ve all been there: thinking, dreaming, planning—but not doing. This is where the fourth spiritual law comes in as a loving nudge. The universe can only respond when you take action. What steps have you taken lately toward your financial goals? Even small actions—like setting up an automatic savings plan or looking into a new investment—send powerful signals to the universe that you’re serious about manifesting abundance. And the universe will respond! The more action you take, the more opportunities seem to “magically” appear. Remember, action doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start small, but be consistent. Every step you take builds momentum toward your goals. Why Reapplying the Laws Matters Life is full of changes. Your financial situation, goals, and even your mindset will evolve over time. That’s why it’s essential to revisit and reapply the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money regularly. They’re not static rules but a dynamic, flexible framework that grows with you. Think of these laws like a compass for your financial journey. Whenever you feel off track, return to them. When you’re uncertain about your next move, let them guide you. The more you use them, the more they’ll become a natural part of how you think and act around money. Embrace the Journey Remember, financial growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be twists, turns, and perhaps a few bumps along the way, but with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money, you’re never lost. These principles are here to help you continuously grow, adapt, and realign with your true financial path—one that leads not just to wealth, but to joy, freedom, and fulfillment. So, the next time you feel a shift in your financial landscape, don’t panic. Instead, revisit these laws, reapply them, and watch how they continue to guide you toward your next level of abundance. Now, what’s your next step? If you found these insights helpful, you’ll love " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " where these principles are explored in depth. It’s now available as an audiobook, making it easier than ever to absorb these powerful lessons on the go. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or relaxing, you can take the wisdom of these spiritual laws with you wherever you are. Start your journey to financial and spiritual abundance today!
As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
Clear the path to prosperity by focusing on what truly serves your highest good in terms of wealth and well-being.