Blog Layout
Typical catch-phrases of the crabs in your bucket
Julie Murphy • May 11, 2011
Last week, I talked about the fixed mindset and how it doesn’t foster positive change. Focusing on your growth means taking the numbers out of the equation and looking at how you’ve changed as a whole. It also means steering clearing of those looking to pull you back into a “fixed” way of thinking. And those people are usually the crabs in your bucket.
Maybe you don’t know what the crabs look and sound like. The crabs in your bucket can be as blatant as people questioning your abilities and as subtle as back-handed-complimenting friends. Knowing the catch-phrases of those crabs in your life will help you combat those feelings of doubt that will inevitably creep in.
“I’m just looking out for your best interest…”
This little line can cause anyone to second-guess their decisions. After all, this person does care about you and only wants the best for you…right?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Only you know for sure if this person is actually looking out for your best interest. Usually, though, the person saying this line is looking out for their interests: keeping you from outpacing them. The best thing about this statement is that it forces you to use your internal instincts. And if this person is actually trying to help you, listen. If they’re trying to hold you back, then continue to focus on your growth.
“Are you sure you can do this?”
It’s incredible how people cheer you on in your average life and then immediately turn on you when you express your goal to be different. When you open up about your heart’s desires – what you truly want – people may react in unusual ways. And doubting disbelief is one of them.
Know this: most people accept mediocrity, and they expect the ones closest to them to do the same. When someone they know decides to go outside the box, their immediate response is to defend their lives and beliefs without truly looking at – or thinking about – yours.
It’s easy to take a statement like this personally. What you hear is exactly what they say: you can’t do this, so why are you trying? But the underlying issue with this statement has nothing to do with what you can do, and has everything to do with what the speaker won’t do.
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
Avoidance is what people do when they aren’t comfortable. So take a step back from the conversation and think about this; you are comfortable discussing your true desires. That’s an enormous step in the growth process. I know, I know; talking about your dreams is easy, it’s action that matters. But if you’ve been crippled by fear to the point of not even discussing your dreams, than you’ve accomplished something huge here.
You only discuss important topics with people who are important to you. And if those people can’t handle discussing the things that are high on your priority list, your success is making them uncomfortable. They’re still in the fixed mindset.
Don’t take these types of comments at face value. On the surface, they may seem caring, concerned or even hurtful. But know what they’re really saying to you, and you’ll be able to kick those crabs on your way up and out of the bucket.
Tags: crabs in your bucket, dealing with negative people, negative people, Chicago financial advisor, Chicago personal finance, Julie Murphy, Chicago financial advice
The post Typical catch-phrases of the crabs in your bucket appeared first on Julie Murphy.
Share Blog On Social
Recent Blogs
Money isn’t just something we deal with mentally or emotionally—it’s physical too. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, financial stress impacts our bodies.
In my book, " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " I explain that wealth isn’t just about managing money—it's about aligning with the deeper, spiritual principles that guide our financial lives. These four laws offer a powerful framework to create lasting abundance, but they aren’t a one-time fix. Instead, they are tools to be revisited and reapplied throughout your journey. Reapplying the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money for Continuous Growth We all know the feeling—just when you think you've got your finances in order, something shifts, and it feels like you're back at square one. Maybe an unexpected expense pops up, or perhaps your goals change as your life evolves. Whatever the reason, financial growth is not a “set it and forget it” journey. It requires ongoing effort, reflection, and adjustment. This is where the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money come in. These laws aren’t just one-time lessons; they are a powerful framework that you can revisit and reapply whenever life (or your bank account) needs a tune-up. Let’s dive into how each law can be reworked into your daily life, helping you to stay on the path of financial abundance. 1. Manifestation Begins with Desire You’ve likely heard it before— knowing what you truly want is the first step to creating it. But here’s the thing: what you want today might be different from what you desired a few years ago. Life changes, and so do your dreams. Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you really desire now? Is it financial freedom, a vacation home, or maybe the ability to give back to your community in a bigger way? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to dream big. Let your desires guide you as they evolve. Reaffirming your desires regularly ensures that you're always manifesting what aligns with the current version of you. 2. The Heart Is Stronger Than the Brain When it comes to money, we’re often told to “be logical” or “stick to the numbers.” But one of the most beautiful spiritual laws of money reminds us that the heart is stronger than the brain . In other words, decisions made from a place of love, passion, and authenticity are far more powerful than those made from fear or strict logic. Ask yourself: Are your current financial choices aligned with your heart? Does how you’re making and spending money feel good on a soul level? When you revisit this law, you might realize it's time to adjust your financial strategy to better match your heart’s desires. This could mean choosing a career path that fulfills you or focusing on spending in ways that bring you joy, not just security. 3. Intention Redirects Energy The power of intention is real. When you set a focused intention, you shift the energy of your life in that direction. But the key word here is focused. As life moves forward, it’s easy to let distractions pull your energy in too many directions. That’s why it’s crucial to regularly revisit your intentions. Are they still aligned with where you want to go? Take time to refocus. This might mean creating new financial goals or reaffirming old ones. By re-centering your intentions, you’re not only redirecting your energy—you’re also inviting the universe to step in and help you make those goals a reality. 4. The Universe Responds to Action We’ve all been there: thinking, dreaming, planning—but not doing. This is where the fourth spiritual law comes in as a loving nudge. The universe can only respond when you take action. What steps have you taken lately toward your financial goals? Even small actions—like setting up an automatic savings plan or looking into a new investment—send powerful signals to the universe that you’re serious about manifesting abundance. And the universe will respond! The more action you take, the more opportunities seem to “magically” appear. Remember, action doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start small, but be consistent. Every step you take builds momentum toward your goals. Why Reapplying the Laws Matters Life is full of changes. Your financial situation, goals, and even your mindset will evolve over time. That’s why it’s essential to revisit and reapply the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money regularly. They’re not static rules but a dynamic, flexible framework that grows with you. Think of these laws like a compass for your financial journey. Whenever you feel off track, return to them. When you’re uncertain about your next move, let them guide you. The more you use them, the more they’ll become a natural part of how you think and act around money. Embrace the Journey Remember, financial growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be twists, turns, and perhaps a few bumps along the way, but with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money, you’re never lost. These principles are here to help you continuously grow, adapt, and realign with your true financial path—one that leads not just to wealth, but to joy, freedom, and fulfillment. So, the next time you feel a shift in your financial landscape, don’t panic. Instead, revisit these laws, reapply them, and watch how they continue to guide you toward your next level of abundance. Now, what’s your next step? If you found these insights helpful, you’ll love " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " where these principles are explored in depth. It’s now available as an audiobook, making it easier than ever to absorb these powerful lessons on the go. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or relaxing, you can take the wisdom of these spiritual laws with you wherever you are. Start your journey to financial and spiritual abundance today!
As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
Similar Blogs
Money isn’t just something we deal with mentally or emotionally—it’s physical too. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, financial stress impacts our bodies.
In my book, " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " I explain that wealth isn’t just about managing money—it's about aligning with the deeper, spiritual principles that guide our financial lives. These four laws offer a powerful framework to create lasting abundance, but they aren’t a one-time fix. Instead, they are tools to be revisited and reapplied throughout your journey. Reapplying the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money for Continuous Growth We all know the feeling—just when you think you've got your finances in order, something shifts, and it feels like you're back at square one. Maybe an unexpected expense pops up, or perhaps your goals change as your life evolves. Whatever the reason, financial growth is not a “set it and forget it” journey. It requires ongoing effort, reflection, and adjustment. This is where the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money come in. These laws aren’t just one-time lessons; they are a powerful framework that you can revisit and reapply whenever life (or your bank account) needs a tune-up. Let’s dive into how each law can be reworked into your daily life, helping you to stay on the path of financial abundance. 1. Manifestation Begins with Desire You’ve likely heard it before— knowing what you truly want is the first step to creating it. But here’s the thing: what you want today might be different from what you desired a few years ago. Life changes, and so do your dreams. Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you really desire now? Is it financial freedom, a vacation home, or maybe the ability to give back to your community in a bigger way? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to dream big. Let your desires guide you as they evolve. Reaffirming your desires regularly ensures that you're always manifesting what aligns with the current version of you. 2. The Heart Is Stronger Than the Brain When it comes to money, we’re often told to “be logical” or “stick to the numbers.” But one of the most beautiful spiritual laws of money reminds us that the heart is stronger than the brain . In other words, decisions made from a place of love, passion, and authenticity are far more powerful than those made from fear or strict logic. Ask yourself: Are your current financial choices aligned with your heart? Does how you’re making and spending money feel good on a soul level? When you revisit this law, you might realize it's time to adjust your financial strategy to better match your heart’s desires. This could mean choosing a career path that fulfills you or focusing on spending in ways that bring you joy, not just security. 3. Intention Redirects Energy The power of intention is real. When you set a focused intention, you shift the energy of your life in that direction. But the key word here is focused. As life moves forward, it’s easy to let distractions pull your energy in too many directions. That’s why it’s crucial to regularly revisit your intentions. Are they still aligned with where you want to go? Take time to refocus. This might mean creating new financial goals or reaffirming old ones. By re-centering your intentions, you’re not only redirecting your energy—you’re also inviting the universe to step in and help you make those goals a reality. 4. The Universe Responds to Action We’ve all been there: thinking, dreaming, planning—but not doing. This is where the fourth spiritual law comes in as a loving nudge. The universe can only respond when you take action. What steps have you taken lately toward your financial goals? Even small actions—like setting up an automatic savings plan or looking into a new investment—send powerful signals to the universe that you’re serious about manifesting abundance. And the universe will respond! The more action you take, the more opportunities seem to “magically” appear. Remember, action doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start small, but be consistent. Every step you take builds momentum toward your goals. Why Reapplying the Laws Matters Life is full of changes. Your financial situation, goals, and even your mindset will evolve over time. That’s why it’s essential to revisit and reapply the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money regularly. They’re not static rules but a dynamic, flexible framework that grows with you. Think of these laws like a compass for your financial journey. Whenever you feel off track, return to them. When you’re uncertain about your next move, let them guide you. The more you use them, the more they’ll become a natural part of how you think and act around money. Embrace the Journey Remember, financial growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be twists, turns, and perhaps a few bumps along the way, but with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money, you’re never lost. These principles are here to help you continuously grow, adapt, and realign with your true financial path—one that leads not just to wealth, but to joy, freedom, and fulfillment. So, the next time you feel a shift in your financial landscape, don’t panic. Instead, revisit these laws, reapply them, and watch how they continue to guide you toward your next level of abundance. Now, what’s your next step? If you found these insights helpful, you’ll love " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " where these principles are explored in depth. It’s now available as an audiobook, making it easier than ever to absorb these powerful lessons on the go. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or relaxing, you can take the wisdom of these spiritual laws with you wherever you are. Start your journey to financial and spiritual abundance today!
As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
Clear the path to prosperity by focusing on what truly serves your highest good in terms of wealth and well-being.