Who do your goals belong to?

It’s easy to go through life chasing after each and every goal. Graduate college? Check. Get a masters degree? Check. Work at {prestigious company name here}? Check. Promotion? Raise? Marriage? Kids? Mortgage? Check on all fronts.

We are truly trained to have a plan throughout adulthood. We pursue, pursue, pursue until we hit that goal. And then, we move onto the next one. Just got promoted to manager at your company? Perfect; you’re that much closer to being a vice president. Signed the dotted line on your starter home? The next one is certain to be a lot closer to the dream home. And if you just got married, I’m sure you’ve been inundated with the “so when are you going to have kids?” question!

Our society rarely takes a moment to just enjoy the journey, which is a shame. Savoring the moment is crucial to enhance happiness in life. It also helps you determine if the goals you are pursuing are the ones you really should be.

And that’s crucial; often times, our goals define us as people. So if that is the case with you, how are you defining yourself? What are you pursuing at the moment and how is that serving your bottom line? And I’m not just talking about your bank account or your social status; I’m talking specifically about your happiness.

You see, all of those goals – the lists we’ve made and the accomplishments we must hit – they become a part of us. They are what we focus the majority of our attention on day in and day out. And they turn into defining moments in our lives when we do get to check them off that list.

But are those things making you happy?

It’s okay to admit it if they’re not. In fact, owning up to not being fulfilled by the goals you are working towards is a great indicator of where you truly are in life. If the things you are pursuing don’t serve you, why are you pursuing them in the first place? Is it because you think you should be pursuing them? Because everyone you know is doing it? Or do you think it’ll make you happy, and it just hasn’t?

Action step

If you are going after things that aren’t making you happy, stop and consider this: in order to truly know what you as a person deserve and need, you must first truly love yourself. Imagine the person you would like to become. What do they feel, love, enjoy, dislike and desire? Begin living each day in that mirror image to begin to fully embrace you – good and bad. You’ll begin to stop worrying about what you should be and exist as you truly are.

Nothing will serve you more in life than loving yourself. Not your relationships, your job, or the amount of stuff in your closet. Why? Because loving yourself makes everything else better. When you love yourself, your relationships improve. When you love yourself, you become a better parent. When you love yourself, you make better decisions (and, as a result, become happier). And when you love yourself, you treat yourself with the love and respect that you need to pursue the goals that are tailored specifically for you. So stop chasing after an ideal that you think you should be, and start living in the truth that you create for yourself.

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