Your financial upbringing (part 2): rewiring your subconscious

Julie Murphy • September 14, 2011

Last week, we talked about how specific experiences in our childhood have shaped our relationship with money. This week, I want to focus on retraining your subconscious. You want to break away from those inherited beliefs so you can eliminate the roadblocks to your financial success.

I closed my last blog post with a reflection exercise where you wrote down the different experiences and situations you were in during your childhood. What were some of the things you wrote down? Did you quickly spend your allowance or did you tightly hold on to it? Were you the leader of your pack or a shy type that went along with what your friends did?

Getting in touch with your feelings

Look over the things you wrote. What do you feel when you remember those childhood experiences? And how does that feeling shift when you think about how those experiences affect you today?

Here’s an example. When you would go shopping with your group of friends in high school, you felt pressured to buy something when everyone else in the group had a bag. You didn’t want to feel left out, and you eased your anxiety by doing what the others did. As you grew older, you never kicked that feeling of needing to purchase something – anything – when someone close to you got something new for themselves. You never grew out of that anxiety; it grew right along with you.

So why is this anxiety so hard to kick? Most unhealthy behaviors are the result of two types of internal emotional conflict: having needs that aren’t met or having trouble setting personal boundaries. When you look over the things you wrote down, I’m willing to be that all of them fall within these two categories. And if those experiences still give you feelings of shame, anger or resentment, now is as good of a time as any to reroute those feelings.

So what’s next?

You have to be completely honest about how those moments made you feel then, and how they continue to make you feel now. We’re so accustomed to judging ourselves – we chide ourselves for being weak yet we feel ashamed of the moments when our assertiveness has a negative effect on those around us.

Instead of crawling back into the shell of old, comfortable habits, confront those feelings head on. Whenever you feel those same pangs of anxiety, don’t run to the nearest boutique to soothe your distress. Retrace the steps to the root of those feelings. Remind yourself that you are justified in feeling the way that you do, but it doesn’t have to control you.

This week, focus on confronting your feelings – as many of them as you can muster. Think of ways you can counter those negative feelings of anxiety or frustration associated with money with positive thoughts and actions. Then next week, after you’ve worked on overcoming those setbacks, we can start to talk about creating the life of your dreams.

Sign up for my weekly words of wisdom (in the top right-hand corner of your screen) for encouraging thoughts each Tuesday. And be sure to check out my book, The Emotion Behind Money, for guidance and healing. You can take control of your finances, and I can help you.

Tags: Julie Murphy, Emotion Behind Money, Chicago financial planner, Chicago personal finance, confronting feelings, confronting emotions, emotional healing, emotions and money, why I spend, spending, conscious spending

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How to End the Year Like the Wealthy Do

By Julie Murphy • December 10, 2025

Reset Your Money Energy for 2026 Every December, we all feel that pull, the desire to “be better with money next year.” But here’s the secret I’ve seen again and again after nearly three decades of walking alongside people from all walks of life: Financially wealthy people don’t just plan their next year — they energetically complete the one they’re leaving. They close loops. They clear emotional residue. They realign their energy field before they set a single goal. And you can absolutely do the same. As I share in The Emotion Behind Money , wealth is never created by logic alone. It comes from managing the emotions behind your money and understanding that money itself is energy. And in Awaken Your Wealth , I remind readers that energetic shifts begin when you consciously picture yourself stepping into a new reality, while compassionately acknowledging the one you’re standing in now. So let’s walk through the simple year-end process I teach my clients — one that spiritually, emotionally, and financially resets your money field for a powerful 2026. 1. Review Your 2025 Wins & Losses With Compassion Before you step into the new year, look back with the most loving, nonjudgmental eyes possible. I call it neutral observation . Wealthy people don’t spiral into shame when something didn’t go perfectly. They get curious. Ask yourself: Where did I expand financially this year? Where did I contract emotionally or economically? What choices were truly aligned with my values? Which ones came from fear, scarcity, or old patterns? In Awaken Your Wealth , the “Accepting Reality and Awakening” step of PACT teaches that awareness without judgment is how we break old money patterns for good. So breathe. Notice. Write it down. No shame. No spiral. Just truth. 2. Forgive Any Money Mistakes Here’s a truth most people never consider: Every financial mistake carries emotional weight and emotional weight blocks money flow. From my work in The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , we know that your heart’s energy is more powerful than your brain’s logic, and intention is what redirects energy back into alignment. Forgiveness, of yourself, your past self, or others involved, releases stagnant money energy. Try this: Write down any money decisions from 2025 that still feel heavy. Place your hand on your heart. Say: "I forgive the version of me who made this choice. She/he did the best they could with what they knew at the time.” Forgiveness isn’t about letting mistakes slide. It’s about resetting your emotional money field so you can co-create something new. 3. Create an Energetic Closing Ceremony for the Year This is where wealthy people truly separate themselves; they honor the transition. You can create your own year-end ceremony using whatever resonates from your spiritual toolkit. Here are a few ideas inspired by the intention-setting and clearing practices throughout my work: Light a candle Symbolize releasing the old year and calling in the new. Write a “completion list” Include everything you’re ready to release: debts you’re no longer carrying shame over, relationships you’re energetically cutting cords from, patterns you’re finished reenacting. Burn or bury the list This physical act tells the Universe: “I’m done living from this version of myself.” In The Emotion Behind Money , we explore how inherited beliefs and emotional patterns repeat until they are consciously released. This ceremony is your line in the sand. End with intention Close with one powerful intention for 2026, aligned from your heart: “I choose a new flow of abundance.” “I trust that money comes to me with ease.” “I allow myself to receive the wealth I’ve been working toward.” As The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money reminds us: “The Universe responds to action.” Your ceremony is your spiritual action. Ready to Step Into 2026 Aligned, Clear & Empowered? If you’re craving deeper support with your financial reset, join me for my Emotions Behind Money Workshop in January. If you’ve been feeling the nudge to recalibrate your relationship with money, this is your moment. Let’s make 2026 the year your inner wealth and your financial reality finally match. You deserve abundance and you’re closer than you think. With love, alignment & a whole lot of possibility, Julie ✨