Blog Layout

How To Deal With Disappointment and Move Forward

Julie Murphy • December 13, 2021

We all experience disappointment in our lives, but the question we need an answer to is how to deal with disappointment constructively.


Just like all emotions, disappointment serves a purpose. 

Of course, it also comes on the heels of devastating experiences in our relationships, career, or even in ourselves. 


If you’re wondering why you feel like a failure or how to navigate the pain that comes with disappointment, this post is for you. 

Let’s start by looking at the science of disappointment and what that means for you. 



How to Deal With Disappointment Like a Therapist


Researchers define disappointment as a form of sadness, something that accompanies a feeling of loss, or uncomfortable feelings where a hole is left between our expectations and reality. This happens when we are convinced that what we thought we needed to feel happy or fulfilled doesn’t develop. 


However, at its core, disappointment is just another emotion. It can even give way to rage or even apathy. Both of these emotions can stop our productivity in its tracks. But to get control over this emotion we have to understand it.



The Difference between Grief & Disappointment


To learn how to deal with disappointment, we have to recognize how it differs from other emotions we feel. For example, grief is often associated with disappointment on a deeper level. Grief happens when we are disconnected from someone or something that we valued or wanted to. Grief also has a greater and longer-lasting impact on our lives than sadness or disappointment alone. 


But each of these emotions serves its own role in our lives. 

Sadness, for example, helps us remember what we desire. It can even trigger self-reflection and pushes us to acceptance of the situation at hand. Ultimately, sadness tries to help us by refocusing on what we can change or revise to create a future with a little less sadness. It does this by helping us be more cautious when we make decisions, making it easier to protect ourselves in the future. 


Unfortunately, we are hardwired to avoid feeling emotional pain, including our disappointment. This goes in line with our desire to avoid what exists in the present and live in our own fantasies of what could have been.


While it might sound counterintuitive, placing too much emphasis on happiness can lead to more disappointment in our lives.



Why Valuing Happiness Can Lead to Disappointment


That’s right, valuing happiness can be self-defeating, depending on how we evaluate our progress towards that which we desire. If you spend a good deal of time comparing yourself to an ideal or fantasy that you want to experience, you set yourself up for disappointment. 

So, how can you balance your desire for good things without tipping the scales in favor of disappointment? 



Fostering Resilience Is the Secret


The secret is resilience. 

Resilience is an ability to cope with a crisis emotionally to return to pre-crisis status fast. By using mental processes and behaviors in promoting personal strengths to protect ourselves from the negative effects of stress, we can become resilient. 


One of the ways we can build this skill is by constructing realistic appraisals of what you need, avoiding painful idealization, and accepting what it is in the present moment. 

The more we practice this process, the easier it becomes. 



Simple Steps for How to Deal with Disappointment and Move On


Moving on from disappointment requires more than avoiding the emotions you feel. Go deeper and consider the following simple steps to move forward. 


Step #1. Feel Your Emotions 


As I mentioned earlier, avoiding your emotions is the fastest way to fall victim to disappointment. So, start by acknowledging your disappointment but don’t get stuck in it. If you didn’t get the job you wanted, etch out a few minutes or even hours in your day to feel bad about it. But once you feel it, move on. 


Step #2. Stop Ruminating on What Could’ve Been 


Next, stop ruminating on what you feel could’ve been or should’ve been. The longer you dwell on your disappointment, the more likely it will hurt you and prevent you from concentrating, problem-solving, and using your creativity to get out of the situation. When you feed the disappointment with new thoughts and new pains, your emotional pain will only grow. Be careful not to do that. 


Step #3. Be Compassionate Towards Yourself


It’s tempting to be self-critical when we feel disappointment. That anger we spoke about earlier can easily be turned inwards and directed towards ourselves. Don’t let that happen to you. Keep in mind, the more we beat ourselves up the more we damage our confidence, self-esteem, and overall emotional state. Take some steps to become more compassionate about yourself, whether that’s just noticing your self-talk and changing it or if it's acknowledging that we all make mistakes and face disappointment. Make these small adjustments and see how much better you feel. 


Step #4. Look At it From a New Angle 


A fresh perspective can be powerful. We can often feel disappointed by things that we won’t even remember in a few months or years. Think back to previous disappointments. Are you still ruminating on them all these years later? Probably not. Keep that in mind and think about your current situation from a new perspective. Remind yourself of all the things that are going well now and focus on them, instead. 


Step #5. Accept What It Is & Look To the Future 


The more significant the disappointment, the harder it is to accept what’s happened and to look forward to the future. Yet, this is one of the most powerful tools we can use to stop feeling disappointed. Regardless of the situation, you’re facing, spend some time feeling the pain and then create a plan for how to get over the pain and move forward with your life. 



Validate, Feel, Accept & Move On From Disappointment


Each of us has the power to move forward from any pain we experience. The key is knowing how to do it and embracing our ability to let go. The world is a great big place with many opportunities, people, and experiences waiting for us. 


So, the choice is yours. 


Will you learn how to deal with disappointment and stop feeling like a failure?

Or will you stay stuck in the past never moving forward?


Only you can answer that question but know that you absolutely can move past disappointment and live the life you want.



Share Blog On Social

A woman is smiling while money is falling around her.
A sign that says join julie on youtube
A book titled the spiritual laws of money
Get it NOW!

Recent Blogs

Emotions around money show up in our bodies in ways we don’t always realize.

Your Body Knows Your Money Story. Are You Listening?

By Julie Murphy • October 29, 2024
Money isn’t just something we deal with mentally or emotionally—it’s physical too. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, financial stress impacts our bodies.

The Power of Reflection: Strengthening Your Financial Path with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money

By Julie Murphy • October 2, 2024
In my book, " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " I explain that wealth isn’t just about managing money—it's about aligning with the deeper, spiritual principles that guide our financial lives. These four laws offer a powerful framework to create lasting abundance, but they aren’t a one-time fix. Instead, they are tools to be revisited and reapplied throughout your journey. Reapplying the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money for Continuous Growth We all know the feeling—just when you think you've got your finances in order, something shifts, and it feels like you're back at square one. Maybe an unexpected expense pops up, or perhaps your goals change as your life evolves. Whatever the reason, financial growth is not a “set it and forget it” journey. It requires ongoing effort, reflection, and adjustment. This is where the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money come in. These laws aren’t just one-time lessons; they are a powerful framework that you can revisit and reapply whenever life (or your bank account) needs a tune-up. Let’s dive into how each law can be reworked into your daily life, helping you to stay on the path of financial abundance. 1. Manifestation Begins with Desire You’ve likely heard it before— knowing what you truly want is the first step to creating it. But here’s the thing: what you want today might be different from what you desired a few years ago. Life changes, and so do your dreams. Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you really desire now? Is it financial freedom, a vacation home, or maybe the ability to give back to your community in a bigger way? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to dream big. Let your desires guide you as they evolve. Reaffirming your desires regularly ensures that you're always manifesting what aligns with the current version of you. 2. The Heart Is Stronger Than the Brain When it comes to money, we’re often told to “be logical” or “stick to the numbers.” But one of the most beautiful spiritual laws of money reminds us that the heart is stronger than the brain . In other words, decisions made from a place of love, passion, and authenticity are far more powerful than those made from fear or strict logic. Ask yourself: Are your current financial choices aligned with your heart? Does how you’re making and spending money feel good on a soul level? When you revisit this law, you might realize it's time to adjust your financial strategy to better match your heart’s desires. This could mean choosing a career path that fulfills you or focusing on spending in ways that bring you joy, not just security. 3. Intention Redirects Energy The power of intention is real. When you set a focused intention, you shift the energy of your life in that direction. But the key word here is focused. As life moves forward, it’s easy to let distractions pull your energy in too many directions. That’s why it’s crucial to regularly revisit your intentions. Are they still aligned with where you want to go? Take time to refocus. This might mean creating new financial goals or reaffirming old ones. By re-centering your intentions, you’re not only redirecting your energy—you’re also inviting the universe to step in and help you make those goals a reality. 4. The Universe Responds to Action We’ve all been there: thinking, dreaming, planning—but not doing. This is where the fourth spiritual law comes in as a loving nudge. The universe can only respond when you take action. What steps have you taken lately toward your financial goals? Even small actions—like setting up an automatic savings plan or looking into a new investment—send powerful signals to the universe that you’re serious about manifesting abundance. And the universe will respond! The more action you take, the more opportunities seem to “magically” appear. Remember, action doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start small, but be consistent. Every step you take builds momentum toward your goals. Why Reapplying the Laws Matters Life is full of changes. Your financial situation, goals, and even your mindset will evolve over time. That’s why it’s essential to revisit and reapply the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money regularly. They’re not static rules but a dynamic, flexible framework that grows with you. Think of these laws like a compass for your financial journey. Whenever you feel off track, return to them. When you’re uncertain about your next move, let them guide you. The more you use them, the more they’ll become a natural part of how you think and act around money. Embrace the Journey Remember, financial growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be twists, turns, and perhaps a few bumps along the way, but with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money, you’re never lost. These principles are here to help you continuously grow, adapt, and realign with your true financial path—one that leads not just to wealth, but to joy, freedom, and fulfillment. So, the next time you feel a shift in your financial landscape, don’t panic. Instead, revisit these laws, reapply them, and watch how they continue to guide you toward your next level of abundance. Now, what’s your next step? If you found these insights helpful, you’ll love " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " where these principles are explored in depth. It’s now available as an audiobook, making it easier than ever to absorb these powerful lessons on the go. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or relaxing, you can take the wisdom of these spiritual laws with you wherever you are. Start your journey to financial and spiritual abundance today!

Building Financial Stability from Within

By Julie Murphy • September 3, 2024
As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
Show More

Similar Blogs

Emotions around money show up in our bodies in ways we don’t always realize.

Your Body Knows Your Money Story. Are You Listening?

By Julie Murphy • October 29, 2024
Money isn’t just something we deal with mentally or emotionally—it’s physical too. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, financial stress impacts our bodies.

The Power of Reflection: Strengthening Your Financial Path with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money

By Julie Murphy • October 2, 2024
In my book, " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " I explain that wealth isn’t just about managing money—it's about aligning with the deeper, spiritual principles that guide our financial lives. These four laws offer a powerful framework to create lasting abundance, but they aren’t a one-time fix. Instead, they are tools to be revisited and reapplied throughout your journey. Reapplying the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money for Continuous Growth We all know the feeling—just when you think you've got your finances in order, something shifts, and it feels like you're back at square one. Maybe an unexpected expense pops up, or perhaps your goals change as your life evolves. Whatever the reason, financial growth is not a “set it and forget it” journey. It requires ongoing effort, reflection, and adjustment. This is where the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money come in. These laws aren’t just one-time lessons; they are a powerful framework that you can revisit and reapply whenever life (or your bank account) needs a tune-up. Let’s dive into how each law can be reworked into your daily life, helping you to stay on the path of financial abundance. 1. Manifestation Begins with Desire You’ve likely heard it before— knowing what you truly want is the first step to creating it. But here’s the thing: what you want today might be different from what you desired a few years ago. Life changes, and so do your dreams. Take a moment to check in with yourself. What do you really desire now? Is it financial freedom, a vacation home, or maybe the ability to give back to your community in a bigger way? Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to dream big. Let your desires guide you as they evolve. Reaffirming your desires regularly ensures that you're always manifesting what aligns with the current version of you. 2. The Heart Is Stronger Than the Brain When it comes to money, we’re often told to “be logical” or “stick to the numbers.” But one of the most beautiful spiritual laws of money reminds us that the heart is stronger than the brain . In other words, decisions made from a place of love, passion, and authenticity are far more powerful than those made from fear or strict logic. Ask yourself: Are your current financial choices aligned with your heart? Does how you’re making and spending money feel good on a soul level? When you revisit this law, you might realize it's time to adjust your financial strategy to better match your heart’s desires. This could mean choosing a career path that fulfills you or focusing on spending in ways that bring you joy, not just security. 3. Intention Redirects Energy The power of intention is real. When you set a focused intention, you shift the energy of your life in that direction. But the key word here is focused. As life moves forward, it’s easy to let distractions pull your energy in too many directions. That’s why it’s crucial to regularly revisit your intentions. Are they still aligned with where you want to go? Take time to refocus. This might mean creating new financial goals or reaffirming old ones. By re-centering your intentions, you’re not only redirecting your energy—you’re also inviting the universe to step in and help you make those goals a reality. 4. The Universe Responds to Action We’ve all been there: thinking, dreaming, planning—but not doing. This is where the fourth spiritual law comes in as a loving nudge. The universe can only respond when you take action. What steps have you taken lately toward your financial goals? Even small actions—like setting up an automatic savings plan or looking into a new investment—send powerful signals to the universe that you’re serious about manifesting abundance. And the universe will respond! The more action you take, the more opportunities seem to “magically” appear. Remember, action doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Start small, but be consistent. Every step you take builds momentum toward your goals. Why Reapplying the Laws Matters Life is full of changes. Your financial situation, goals, and even your mindset will evolve over time. That’s why it’s essential to revisit and reapply the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money regularly. They’re not static rules but a dynamic, flexible framework that grows with you. Think of these laws like a compass for your financial journey. Whenever you feel off track, return to them. When you’re uncertain about your next move, let them guide you. The more you use them, the more they’ll become a natural part of how you think and act around money. Embrace the Journey Remember, financial growth is a journey, not a destination. There will be twists, turns, and perhaps a few bumps along the way, but with the 4 Spiritual Laws of Money, you’re never lost. These principles are here to help you continuously grow, adapt, and realign with your true financial path—one that leads not just to wealth, but to joy, freedom, and fulfillment. So, the next time you feel a shift in your financial landscape, don’t panic. Instead, revisit these laws, reapply them, and watch how they continue to guide you toward your next level of abundance. Now, what’s your next step? If you found these insights helpful, you’ll love " The 4 Spiritual Laws of Money , " where these principles are explored in depth. It’s now available as an audiobook, making it easier than ever to absorb these powerful lessons on the go. Whether you're commuting, exercising, or relaxing, you can take the wisdom of these spiritual laws with you wherever you are. Start your journey to financial and spiritual abundance today!

Building Financial Stability from Within

By Julie Murphy • September 3, 2024
As someone who has guided countless clients toward true wealth, I know how crucial it is to build financial stability, especially in times like these. And that’s where my approach, outlined in my first book, "The Emotion Behind Money" , comes into play. In my work, I emphasize that wealth isn’t just about numbers—it's about what's happening inside you as much as what's happening around you. The Emotion Behind Money is all about building wealth from the inside out, which means bringing your authentic self to the forefront of your financial decisions. When your money is aligned with who you truly are, you create a foundation that can withstand even the most uncertain times. Feeling anxious about the future—whether it’s due to financial, economic, or inflation-related concerns—is a common experience. But often, that anxiety signals that your money isn’t set up in alignment with your authentic self. When this alignment is off, it’s easy to feel ungrounded and uncertain. I’ve seen this time and again in my work as a financial planner, and I’m here to help you shift from anxiety to assurance by realigning your financial life with who you really are. Let’s face it: the economic landscape is challenging right now. Inflation is driving up costs on essentials like gas, food, and education. Interest rates are climbing, and while wage growth might seem positive, it can have long-term consequences for the economy. It’s easy to get caught up in these concerns, but I believe there’s a better way to approach them. The Outside vs. The Inside When we think about wealth, we often focus on external factors: the stock market, interest rates, inflation, job security, and so on. These things are important, but they’re only part of the picture. What’s going on inside you—your beliefs, values, and emotions —plays an equally crucial role in your financial stability. If you’re feeling anxious about the future, it might be a sign that your finances aren’t fully aligned with your true self . When you’re not grounded in your financial decisions, it’s easy to feel out of control and overwhelmed by external events. But when your money is set up in a way that reflects who you are and what you value, you’ll find that you can navigate uncertainty with much more confidence and peace of mind. Creating Financial Space One of the most important steps you can take to create financial stability is to build financial space. This means having enough room in your budget to handle unexpected expenses, economic downturns, or other financial challenges without feeling panicked. Start by taking a close look at your current financial situation. Are there areas where you could reduce your debt? Are there expenses you could eliminate or cut back on? By making these adjustments, you can free up cash flow that can be redirected into savings or investments, creating a buffer that will protect you in times of uncertainty. I’ve created a Cashflow Worksheet to help you get started on this journey. You can download it here . Another crucial aspect of creating financial space is to avoid taking on unnecessary debt. For example, many people take out loans from their 401K accounts, thinking it’s a quick fix. But in the long run, this can lead to more financial stress. Instead, focus on building up your savings so that you have the cash on hand to cover unexpected expenses without resorting to credit cards or loans. Empower Your Choices A big part of building financial stability is recognizing that you have a choice in how you manage your money. It’s easy to feel like a victim of the system, especially when you’re facing financial pressure. But when you realize that you have the power to make decisions that align with your values and goals, you take control of your financial future. For example, instead of feeling like you "have to" use credit cards to cover expenses, reframe it as a choice. If you truly need to use credit, do so with intention and a plan to pay it off quickly. But if it’s possible to avoid it, choose to do so. This simple shift in mindset can make a huge difference in how you feel about your financial situation. Insulate Yourself from Economic Uncertainty We can’t control what’s happening in the global economy, but we can take steps to insulate ourselves from its effects. This starts with being proactive about your finances. By setting up your money in a way that aligns with your true self, you create a foundation that can weather any storm. Whether it’s building up your savings, reducing your debt, or making thoughtful financial choices, every step you take toward financial stability helps to create a sense of security. And that security isn’t just about having more money in the bank—it’s about knowing that you’re in control of your financial future, no matter what happens in the world around you.
Protect Your Energy and Shift Your Money Mindset for Greater Clarity and Abundance

Protect Your Energy and Shift Your Money Mindset for Greater Clarity and Abundance

By Julie Murphy • August 27, 2024
Clear the path to prosperity by focusing on what truly serves your highest good in terms of wealth and well-being.
Show More
Share by: