It’s ok to Not Know!
Julie Murphy • January 6, 2021
There’s so much going on right now, right? So many of us are in a confusing state of having no idea whatsoever what to do next. We’ve got a lot of layering going on now, right? We have a huge pandemic, financial crisis, rioting, and protesting, and I honestly don’t think this is going to be the end of it, ladies and gentlemen.
But something I’m super, super clear on is this: it’s really, truly okay to be in a space of “I don’t know what to do next.” Here’s what I mean by that…
The Magic Phase of “I Don’t Know”
Believe it or not, there is magic in that “I don’t know” phase. It’s really okay to be in the step of not knowing because it allows you to decide what to do next. You just have to know how to move forward in the right way.
What I’d encourage you all to do when you find yourself in a state of not knowing is to ask yourself a simple question: “What is the next right step?” Don’t worry about the far-away future or finding the perfect solution to every problem. Just ask yourself, “Show me the next right step.”
A couple of years ago when I was going through my divorce process, I was very much in an emotional state of unrest. It felt as though I was undergoing an attack with literally no clue how to move forward. At least, that was my perception of it at the time.
Now that I’m on the other side of that “I don’t know” phase, I can see how I participated in my own uncertainty. Since then, I’ve proceeded to learn and grow and now that I’ve been doing the next right step, I’ve truly reached a place of health. It was okay that I didn’t know… as long as I kept moving forward with the right step in that moment.
The Importance of our Hearts
We are really being called as a society to stop operating from our minds and our egos, and to allow our hearts to find the way. I understand how difficult this is! I am highly educated, I have a whole lot of letters after my name, and this has taught me how to operate from my brain so well. But this education doesn’t tell me how to operate from my heart. Our formal educations won’t show any of us how to operate from our hearts.
My education taught me how to operate from my mind and my ego, which has served me so well for so long, but it’s not going to get me to the next place. It’s not going to get any of us to the next place… and that’s what’s so important. We have to understand the importance of what our heart wants. We have to ask for the next right step in our heart.
Trust me when I say that we’re all in uncharted turf with pandemic, economics, protesting, and rioting. Asking yourself, “What is the next right step?” can only come from your heart… and it’s the only way you’re going to find your answer.
How to Avoid Shutting Down
I’m not saying this is easy. We can all go into a protective, shut-down mode during these crazy times. But we need to understand that the gift in all of this craziness is that we’re all being given an opportunity to face our past traumas. When we’re triggered, that means that something needs to shift within ourselves from an emotional healing perspective. This actually has nothing to do with what’s going on right now, even though our brain and our ego want us to think it does.
So if you’re going through stress or major anxiety and you’re tempted to blame the present circumstances or you’re worried about the future, take a second to breathe. On a scale of one to ten, determine how triggered you are. And then perform a thing called havening: cross your arms and run your hands down from your shoulders to at least your elbows, twenty times.
This helps you connect your left and right brain, and align your heart, which shifts the grooves in your brain from your amygdala (which are creating a lot of your response systems) to the front of your brain, helping you live in the present and not the past traumas in your life.
Ask yourself again, on a scale of one to ten, how triggered are you? Repeat as needed and let your anxiety lower.
Final Thoughts
I hope you know that I’m sending so much love to you all today! Just remember to keep asking yourself, “What is the next right step?” and trust your heart to show you the way. If you ever need more help, stop by my Facebook lives, or check out my Youtube channel for more resources.
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